One of the things I have loved moved about life in NYC is it pushes you into community. I have several thoughts on that alone, that may need to be a post by itself one day, but for now, I'll give you one great example...our bus ride on Wednesday. We met so many people! Austin and Jonathan were successfully in engaging I'd say 50% of the commuters. I couldn't help but chuckle inside.
It started of right when we got one. There was an elderly couple sitting across the bus from us. They could not stop staring at us. I smiled, encouraged the boys to say hello, and they quickly responded to me, "YOU'RE BRAVE"!!! I laughed. For the next 5-7 minutes, I got to hear about their family. I learned how far apart he and his siblings were. I learned how many grandchildren they have. I learned that in 100 years of children in his family, there have been 15 kiddos. Only two of which were boys! I felt very blessed for my two little men!
Then there was the lady right behind us. She was also an elderly woman, but something tells me we wouldn't be able to use the "E" word with her. She was dressed very nicely, fashionable glasses with a blue tint, to match her blue dress, and pretty heavy make up (a bit unusual for the Manhattan woman). She also kept looking at us, but was very hesitant to engage. Instead, for the first half of the ride, she just listened on our conversations. I'll come back to her. For the sake of keeping track of everyone, we'll call her East Side Evelyn (I suspect she's from the East side)!
Then there was Bronx Blanca who was traveling with man. I call her Bronx Blanca because she told me that's where she lived. Initially, they were very involved in conversation. The man was rattling off all these occurrences from his life. Things that sounded like they were out of a movie...and not positive living. Things like "I didn't jump him", "then there was that woman I was talking, she was naked...." A few times there was criminal activity mentioned. The conversation was so "colored" I thought she might be his parole officer. I was surprised after she struck up conversation with me to learn that she was his mother. She was a nice lady nonetheless! She asked how far apart my boys were, we talked about her kids. She has four of them. They are 31, 29, 23, and 16. First three are boys, last one is a girl...we went on for some small talk. She gave me advice about how to space my children out and a few other things I can't recall. At one point both she and her son were high fiving the boys!!!
While Bronx Blanca and I were talking, a man sat down next to East Side Evelyn. They didn't interact at all, but he began kinda quietly saying, "if you have children you should afford them". Not really knowing what to do with that comment, both Bronx Blanca and I ignored him...for the first times. He got a little bit louder. I turned and nodded thinking that maybe acknowledging him would help. Nope...he continued...volume rising. At one point I even thought, "well do I look like I can't afford these children?" I guess he wasn't satisfied by our lack of engagement, so he stood up and continued ranting, "If you have children you should afford them..." this time he went on, "other wise it comes out of our pocket (touching pocket while standing right in front of us headed towards the front of the bus) The tax payer's pocket." He repeated this a few more times then arrived at his destination and left the bus. Shortly after Bronx Blanca and her son also arrived at their stop. They wished us the best and said goodbye as they stepped off the bus.
I knew it was only a matter of time before Austin noticed East Side Evelyn and attempted to talk with her. Sure enough...He looked over, "What's your name???" (I don't remember her name). As she leaned in to answer him, Austin, who has just put a few crackers in his mouth starts to cough. She
jerks back. Of course! I encourage him to cover his mouth when he coughs. I thought we were done with East Side Evelyn by the look of disgust on her face, but apparently Austin couldn't keep her away. He asked again her name. She answered. Then Austin proceeded to tell her about his brother Jonathan and share each of their ages. At this point I'm facing the back of the bus and notice that almost everyone (at least those that don't have headphones in) are looking at Austin- of course speaking in a two year old volume (LOUD) - and smiling. My heart smiled too.
Then Harlem Heidi came one (she told me she lived in Harlem). She was a sweet looking American women with a baby strapped to the front of her (at this point Jonathan's on my back). We exchanged smiles. She was feeding her daughter blueberries. Food- of course that sparked Austin's curiosity. "What is she eating (two year old volume)?" "I'm not sure buddy." Harlem Heidi responds, "Blueberries." We chat....age of kids, how many....etc. Turns out her daughter who in the carrier on her front is the same age as Jonathan. I can no longer carry Jonathan on my front because he's too heavy. She said she hasn't figured out how to get the baby on her back. I coach her on it. I had to learn if I was going to survive city life with two 30lb toddlers!
Then East Side Evelyn chimes in, "You would prefer to have him in the carrier on your back than in your arms?" "I would much rather it. I have two free hands. With him on my back, I can still carry my purse, their bag, the umbrella, and hold my older son's hand." She understood. She asked if my back ever hurt....yes!
Then we met Columbia Carly. From two rows back she says, "I'm sorry... I've kinda been listening in....does your back back have a waist strap?" I confirmed it did. She proceeded to tell me about how she had surgery in July and she had to get a backpack with a waist strap and how much she loves it. East Side Evelyn and Columbia Carly went on to chat.
Meanwhile I realize that Jonathan is sound asleep. This is not a good thing. It's too early and if he sleeps now, he won't sleep at nap time! To confirm, I ask Austin if Jonathan's sleeping. Several voices on the bus respond..."yup" "OH yeah" "He's knocked out"...great! I have an audience and I am going to proceed to wake up my perfectly peaceful baby! I realize how engaged with one another this bus is. Aagin, my heart smiles. I take Jonathan out of the carrier. One lady offers to help us off, but it's not our stop yet. I thank her. Harlem Heidi and Columbia Carly get off. Only East Side Evelyn is left when we get off a couple stops later, but I almost felt the need to say "Goodbye everybody!!"
This is the kind of thing we never get to experience in the suburbs. We get in our isolation bubbles - AKA cars - and drive in solitude to our destination. I never would have thought I would enjoy these bus rides. Yes, it's very difficult carting two children around on public transportation. I've recently been challenged to live a life of gratitude. I could grumble at the difficultly or I could have my eyes open to what it brings to our lives. Wednesday, I chose gratitude. The exposure to society was so fun. How rich of a blend my boys get to see every day. Everywhere we go. We can't leave the house without them seeing someone who's radically different from them. And on bus rides like these, there is connection made. Though it's highly unlikely that I will ever see Bronx Blanca, East Side Evelyn, Harlem Heidi, Columbia Carly, or any of the other commuters again, I am so thankful that for one bus ride we got to connect while passing one another in our travels.
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