Sicky baby...Hard Days!

This week has been hard. Jonathan was under the weather with a fever for almost three days. Luckily, we don't have to deal with illness very regularly. Jonathan was miserable. Austin totally didn't understand why Jonathan got to be held all the time. Thus, Austin wanted to be held all the time. By the end of the second day, Austin was starting to act out.  I, following suit, woke up a total grump this morning. My patience really was being tested. I was mad that we couldn't go about our normal activities and that we would be cooped up - yet again- in our 700 square foot apartment for the day. But now as I stand at the end of the day and hopefully past the illness, the fog has kinda cleared and I need to process! I got sweet notes throughout the day of people telling me they were praying. I was encouraged and spurred on. A sweet sweet friend offered to keep my boys after nap time and I got to run to the grocery store kid free.

As I look back on the last three days, I just want to wack myself!   Really, I lost my cool a few too many times with the boys. I was annoyed that I was needed. I was bitter that I had to miss a playdate (aka - time with other moms) and bible study. I felt sorry for myself that I live in a city with no extended family. I...I...I...I - ahhhhhh! How selfish.Hind sight is 20/20 right? I wish I could go back and see it as an opportunity to serve my little guys. A good excuse to let the housework go because my arms were occupied with warm little bodies. I could have chosen the perspective of being gifted with unlimited, uninterrupted time with my little men without an agenda rushing us to and from places. Oh hindsight - why can't you come before the issue - or even during. Nope, you only reveal yourself in retrospect. This is why I am posting about this. I know I'll live some more sick days. Hopefully I'll remember enough to come back to this post and try to catch hindsight a little earlier and resent the days a little less!